Panic? I'm Not Panicked! (?)

Week 4

September 5, 2008

Mom

Those of you paying attention will have noticed that the day we found out I was pregnant was A.'s first day of Kindergarten. (Hope you are having fun up there Fate. Hope my life continues to give you some laughs!)

When I took the test, it was about 1:30 in the afternoon. A. was downstairs watching a movie, C. was at school and T. was at work. I really didn't expect a positive result. When I saw it, I basically went into shock. I remember sitting on the bathtub edge thinking that it had to be wrong. That it couldn't be true. And then all those aforementioned symptoms hit me like a bludger to the head (shout out to the Harry Potter fans reading this).

My first coherent thought was that I had to tell T. and that I should call him right away. Common sense prevailed thank goodness. He had already had an "interesting" driving experience on the way home from work the day before and I didn't need to give him another.

My next thought was the kids -- what would they think? How would they react? When would we tell them? A bus passed outside the window and it jarred me back to reality. C. would be home from his first day of school any minute and we'd have to get A. to gymnastics. That would be fun -- sitting in a room of my friends trying not to let on my life-changing news.

Somehow I got through it although I almost didn't make it through all the phone calls for the kids, asking about the big first day. How many times was I tempted to yell -- "I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive!!!" Obviously I didn't.

I'm afraid I wasn't very gracious about telling T. either. The kids and I walked through the door after gymnastics and instead of letting them regale Daddy about their day, I pushed them into the other room and told them to watch tv. To be honest, I don't really remember what either of us said. I think there was a lot of stunned silence. We did agree though, not to share our news until we had processed it ourselves a little bit. Hmm. This could take some time. I'm very happy underneath it all, but right now my brain won't stop whirring.